Post Empire Syndrome


One of those days in England by Roy Harper is this weeks inspiration. The track is from the Bullinamingvase album released in 1977.220px-Roy_Harper_2011

It’s all been a bit heavy over the last few weeks and I decided that this weeks blog poem would be a bit lighter. In fact, it’s isn’t a poem at all but a letter. It tells a tale of a broken relationship and broken promises but it is also a letter of hope.


Just across the Channel

Near Europe

13th June 2017

Dear Europe

It’s been awhile since I wrote but I thought I might bring you up to date with what is happening here.

Sorry about the delay in sorting out the divorce, it seems my solicitor went on holiday for nine weeks. I am hoping to get a new team together soon so please be patient.

I have also been giving a lot of thought about why I wanted a divorce in the first place. What looked like a good idea at the time doesn’t look that clever now. In the end I have to admit that it wasn’t you it was me.

I realise that I have been a bit arrogant and have taken you for granted, it’s just, well, I used to be somebody, you know. I was a player, I had an empire and everything but it’s all gone now, nothing left but a big lump of rock near Spain and a group of Islands in the South Atlantic than even the Argies don’t seem that keen on these days.

No country likes to look down and see that other people’s economies are bigger than theirs. It’s embarrassing, it hurts. My mindfulness therapist tells me I have “Post Empire Syndrome” and in her words “I have to get over myself”.

Also, things have not been going well between myself and Teresa, I found out that she has been selling my things. You know my Health Service? Well, she had been selling bits of it off on Ebay. The Water companies went to some Chinese bloke and the railways were sold to this old hippie who owns the local record shop. She even sold my student loan to Wonga.

It’s all over between me and Teresa, she hasn’t moved out yet but I don’t think it will be long. In fact, can I let you into a secret. I have met someone else. He is called Jeremy and he is really nice. He says he will get back all my stuff that Teresa sold off. However, I need to be careful, I have been hurt before. Remember Tony, I fell for all his smooth charm and he turned out to be a psychopath with a God complex. Remember Ed and his “Things can only get better” and they didn’t and don’t even get me started about Margaret.

But this time it will be different, Jeremy says he will also help me with the divorce and he thinks we should all try and be friends again. Would you like that?

The Kids are muddling along, Scotland has been through this teenage crisis and wanted to leave home but I think we have passed that now. Northern Ireland does nothing but complain about its borders. Evidently, it’s worried it might be going hard and Wales, well you know Wales,  I still don’t understand a bloody word it says.

Take care

Your ever loving


© Jeff Price June 2017






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