An Autobiography in a Pair of Pants

Dedicated Follower of Fashion. Ray Davies 

Ray Davies is one of the twentieth century’s finest songwriters. His lyrics often appear ray daviessimple but after a few listens you begin to see the layers beneath.

In Newcastle in the sixties I was one of those dedicated followers of fashion who strutted his stuff around the clubs and dance halls of my home town. As I approach seventy these things do not seem as important as they once did but there is still a part of me that would spend too much money and too much time in a clothes shop.

Fortunately my pathetic pension ensures I shop more often in St Oswald’s Charity Shop than John Lewis’s men’s department.

An Autobiography in a Pair of Pants


A post war baby boomer born in a smoggy northern city

Sporting towelling nappies and plagued with  nappy rash


Cycling through the back lanes from school to avoid the bullies

Scabby knees sticking out from under grubby grey schoolboy shorts


Faded blue denim jeans and a scarlet red polo-neck jumper

Sartorial independence bought with a paper boy’s wages


The Marrakesh express in the seventies under an African sun

The Sahara saw the first unveiling of summer shorts


Bell Bottom Loons covering Crockett and Jones cuban heeled boots

Hip hugging trousers revealing a tantalising glimpse of faded underwear


Paul Balman work suits with purple paisley silk waistcoats

Pretending to be a businessman and failing miserably


Tight black levi jeans with a black shirt and a mean look

Performing poetry in a smoke filled pub on a Sunday night


Empty pockets in patched Craghopper cargo pants

Trying to make a decent living as a poet and failing miserably


Paper underwear and a cotton smock tied at the back

Waiting In a French hospital  watching a heart monitor all night


Settling for elasticated  black trousers and baggy jumpers

Needing something that accommodates an ever expanding waistline


Buying two pairs of aspirational trousers at Marks and Spencer

Taking six months to lose ten kilos so that they can be buttoned up


Being able to pull on trousers whilst standing up and not falling over

The final chapter waiting to be written and the last zip still unzipped


©Jeff Price August 2017

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